Change Your Life By Changing Your Words
Using the Right Word or Phrases Can Have a Drastic Effect on Relationships and Interactions
Jul 8, 2009
Everyone knows that words can be powerful, especially when they are used to express an emotion or feeling. But did you also know that the words you choose to use can control your moods? Each time you make the choice to use the words you do there is a significant power associated with them, a power that can transform your inner being to a happy or sad one. This same influence can spread to seriously alter relationships with family and friends.
Are You Using Positive or Negative Speech?
It can be difficult to notice what type of speech you are using, especially during the tougher times. One way to find out what type of language you used most often is to assess your overall mood. Do you consider yourself to be a positive person or a negative one? Optimistic people tend to use more positive speech while pessimists often talk negatively. For example, say it starts to rain on a day when a trip to the beach was planned. A negative person would complain and say things like, "This weather is horrible!" despite the fact that nothing that can be done to change it. A more optimistic person would instead adjust the plans and say something more like, "I better pack an umbrella." By stating fact and avoiding any pessimistic comments the mood stays even and more upbeat.
Another way to gauge your language is to be aware of yourself more frequently. Select specific times during the day to take note of your words and mood and keep a log. For example, in the morning when you wake up be sure to note the very first words you say. Are they positive and indicate that you are looking forward to the day or are they negative and suggest feelings of dread? For example, if the day ahead is going to include doing things that may not be desired such as cleaning or some other work, a negative person wakes up to automatically feel miserable about what's ahead. Statements such as "I wish I didn't have to do this" or "I can't believe I have to do this work" will not change the fact that it has to be done but will seriously bring down the overall mood. Positive expressions such as "Since there's nothing I can do about it, I might as well get started" or "Wow, the weather is really nice today" accept the fact that there is no control over what's ahead and foster a positive mood.
The Power of Positive Language
Even if you use positive language most of the time you will likely benefit from adding more of it to your day. While some bad moods come from concrete problems or situations, others come into existence simply because of the negative influence of your words.
To engage in positive speech:
- Always start your day with encouraging words. Say things like, "This day is going to be great!" even if you fear it might not be.
- Smile when you talk. Smiling will help to increase the probability of using happier words.
- Think before you talk. People often make negative remarks when they are too quick to speak.
The Downward Spiral Caused by Negative Speech
Just as positive words have the power to uplift you, negative speech can really bring you down. Constantly complaining or seeing the bad side of things is only enhanced when these statements are made out loud. As you continue to feed your bad mood with the unfavorable language you will quickly find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into a negative state.
To end negative speech:
- Rephrase a negative statement and turn it into a positive one. Even if you have already made the adverse remark, overrule it by rephrasing it to a more positive one.
- Take a deep breath before you talk. Deep breathing relaxes and also gives you time to think before opening your mouth.
- Change the subject. Do not allow yourself to dwell on any topic that brings about the negative talk.
How to Influence Others with Words
The words you use can really start to affect those around you in either a positive or negative way. If you consistently talk in a disheartening fashion you may find that loved ones are down when they are around you or seek to avoid you altogether. On the other side, if you use positive language around your friends and family you may create a lasting impression that will encourage them to be more positive themselves.
Altering your speech around people can really do wonders for your own spirit, as well. Once you see that you have the power to change someone's day just by using the right words you will find yourself wanting to do it more often.
Readers may also enjoy How to Make Better Choices With Recognition and How to Make Better Choices Using Awareness.
Resource:
- Oswald, Yvonne, Every Word Has Power: Switch on Your Language and Turn on Your Life (Oregon, 2008)
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