Goal Setting for the Perfectionist

Overcoming Perfectionism with Realistic Goals and Objectives

May 18, 2009

Though perfectionism tends to be thought of as desirable, perfectionists suffer severe effects, often manifested in goal setting.

The perfectionist is often involved in a vicious circle of goal setting, achieving goals and objectives, and setting new, challenging goals without pausing to enjoy the goal setting process or the success of goal achievement. In the perfectionist's pursuit of perfection, a goal is something to be quickly reached as a demonstration of achievement and self-worth.

Perfection and perfectionism have positive implications of excellence (i.e. high standards and high achievement.) Perfectionism, however, is anything but a strength, as acknowledged perfectionists will attest.

The Perfectionist

In The Pitfalls of Perfectionism (PsychologyToday.com, September, 2001), Jennifer Drapkin indicates, "Even though perfectionists are often high-achievers, they are also at risk for eating disorders, sexual dysfunction, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, divorce, and suicide. They lead a life of continual anxiety and fear of failure."

Overcoming Perfectionism in Goal Setting

The dangers of perfectionism are evident in the way the perfectionist sets goals. The perfectionist sets extremely difficult goals and is driven to accomplish them, but achieves little or no satisfaction from the success. Contrast this with high achievers who are not perfectionists, but are realists. Their drive to achieve is under their control and they are able to accept and learn from failures while enjoying the process of achieving.

Perfectionists are driven to achieve their goals and unable to accept failures or temporary setbacks. Perfectionists fail to enjoy the process, instead focusing on the goal in an all-or-nothing approach. Failing to achieve a goal, the perfectionist is vulnerable to depression and feelings of failure as a person.

The SMART Model of Goal Setting

A widespread model for goal setting follows the acronym SMART, for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based. The perfectionist tends to overlook the realistic attribute, instead setting goals that have inherently high risk.

There is a fine line between a goal that is challenging and realistic and a goal that is challenging but unrealistic. Further complicating this issue is that the fine line is a variable, dependent more on the person than on the situation.

Setting Realistic Goals

A goal that is too easy is not motivating, nor is a goal that is so difficult as to seem impossible. The motivating goal will be difficult enough to stretch the goal-setter, while at the same time being reachable.

Psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar indicates, "...while stretching ourselves...can be a good thing, there is a point beyond which it becomes a bad thing. We need to accept that our limits are real."

One rule of thumb regarding the degree of difficulty of a challenging but realistic goal is whether the goal-setter can visualize the goal achieved. A challenging goal that can also be visualized as successfully achieved is a goal that will motivate high performance.

The Perfectionist and Success

The perfectionist tends to set goals based on obtaining external approval or recognition. Therefore, anything short of goal attainment risks external rejection. The perfectionist requires external approval to bolster self esteem.

High achievers who are not perfectionists tend to set goals based on their own needs and desires. According to Nick Halpin, PhD, writing on the University of Dundee website, "perfectionism refers to self-defeating thoughts and behaviours associated with high and unrealistic goals. Perfectionism is often mistakenly seen as desirable or even necessary for success. However, recent studies have shown that perfectionist attitudes actually interfere with success."

Overcoming Perfectionism with Realistic Goals

Goal Setting for Perfectionists

Perfectionists can learn to enjoy the process of achievement as well as the satisfaction of reaching goals by recognizing the self-defeating behaviors of striving for total perfection. Setting modest improvement goals and focusing on lessons learned in the process of striving for goals will help perfectionists get back in control of their goal setting.

The copyright of the article Goal Setting for the Perfectionist in Changing Personal Habits is owned by Jerry Lopper. Permission to republish Goal Setting for the Perfectionist in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.