Even the best of changes can be scary. If you look at what you can get, instead of what's getting left behind, it makes all the difference!
Life is about change, it's inevitable. We dread change and create it at the same time. Or, change is created for us and normally when we are the least ready for it. Whether the changes are welcome or not, growing pains are going to happen. Learning to let go of the old, and embrace the unknown is a fine art that can help take the edge off some of those pains.
Our entire identity, from the way we perceive ourselves, how we view our place in the world, and our levels of security become attached to life as we know it. The job we have, the way our family is made up, and the home we live in are all a part of how we live our life and who we believe we are at this very moment.
Whenever we are faced with any sort of change, we are faced with losing something that we have become attached to. The change might be changing a job, buying a new home, or pursuing intimate inner changes, such as releasing stressful patterns of behavior. Sometimes we think "Good Riddance" and are very happy to leave whatever it is we're making the change for. More often though, we find we've become like a bird in the cage. The door is wide open to freedom, but we stay enclosed rather than face any feelings of loss.
Taking some time to completely put away the things we are leaving behind will allow us more freedom for opening our hearts to something new. There are a million books and articles about getting over a relationship break-up. Let's look at some of the other break-ups that happen in life and what sort of closure might best suit the purposes.
When leaving a job, update your resume and references right away while the duties and responsibilities are still fresh in mind. Make sure and acknowledge people that helped you with you job in any way. Even if it's a downsize or layoff, there still might be coworkers that will appreciate a chance at closure. Whatever the reason for why the job is ending, you can keep your head up and bite your tongue about anything that is not in the best personal issue to address. Remember, most of business is not personal, even though it's normal to feel that way about it.
Make a list of all of the high points that were accomplished during this job. This will come in handy when faced with learning new job duties or roles. Looking at the list and remembering previous skills, how you mastered them, and that you are fully capable of much more, will help during the uncomfortable new learning phases you'll face with your new job.
When it comes to leaving a home, take the time to honor the structure you've spent part of your life in. Clean thoroughly and remove all traces of your time there. If you like, take a picture or two for an album, but when you close that door for the last time, open your heart to the new place you'll be living.
Even if you are moving into your dream house, there is going to be stress of remembering where you've placed items, and in setting a new rhythm within the routine house affairs. Take it easy on yourself at this time, give yourself some extra time to rest and enjoy the adventure of not immediately knowing how to get down that hallway in the dark of night. Soon, you'll be one of the old neighbors in the neighborhood and you can give compassion for the new person moving in again for the first time.
If it's a bad habit you are leaving behind, put away all reminders of that habit as much as possible. Stay focused on replacing that habit, with new good habits. For example, instead of focusing on NOT smoking, focus on exercise and living a healthy lifestyle. If it's weight you are looking to lose, imagine yourself eating healthy and gaining a new body. As you gain the things you are truly dreaming of, the things that were standing in the way will melt easily away.
Hang pictures up to remind you of what you want and whenever you find yourself yearning for the old ways, get busy adding something new instead. Even if it's as simple as a tall glass of ice water, or a quick walk around the block, the simplest distraction can help you regain focus on what you intend to have happen instead of how things used to happen.
The most important thing to remember when you are leaving something behind, to grow towards something new, is to release it fully. Keep your sites focused on what it is that you are gaining. This will create a magnetic attraction to help your goals pull towards you as well.
