All human beings talk to themselves. Some may find this difficult to believe or admit, but it is true. Self-help gurus, psychologists and other professionals agree that normal conversations with the self occur on an inner, mental level. Consider, for example, the thoughts that occupy a mind during an average day:
- "Oh I forgot to pick up the milk; better rush," or
- "Stupid idiot, how could I let that happen?" or
- "I am so clever, I knew I could do it!"
Those thoughts that say things directly to the self are known as self-talk. Self-talk can be positive or negative. Self-help experts are increasingly recognizing the fact that thoughts have a much bigger impact on a person's life than they previously believed.
If someone keeps saying and thinking negative things, the brain will soon make a habit of being negative. Luckily, the opposite is also true: think good and positive things, and the mind will believe this with equal enthusiasm. Knowing this can vastly improve the use of self-help techniques.
The Empowering Force of Awareness
LifeMatters.com suggests that the first step towards empowering more positive self-talk is to be aware of negative thoughts in the first place. It is impossible to change something without knowing about it. The habit of listening to the mind's “voice” will soon reveal certain thought patterns – either negative or positive ones. It is particularly useful to listen to the mind during difficult or challenging times. This is when the brain shows its true colors.
Ask questions to access self-talk:
- What do you tell yourself when you're trying to achieve something?
- Are your feelings and thoughts in harmony with each other?
Avoid judgments at first. Simply observe the thought pattern. A negative pattern suggests that you may be stuck in a negative self-talk habit.
Fight Back With Positive Thinking
The best self-help technique a person can use to conquer negative self-talk, as psychologist Harriet B. Braiker says, is to respond with a positive challenge. It is for example difficult to avoid being negative after a failure. But these are exactly the times to consciously empower a response to this type of pattern. Are you really always a failure? Are you really worthless? Obviously, the answer is "no."
Challenge negative self-talk by arguing with it. Replace negativity with positive statements: You have enjoyed success many times before, and will do so again. You have everything you need to be successful.
Success With Practice in Positive Self-Talk
Of course nobody is perfect all the time. Dr. Braiker's replacement idea is a very useful way to practice a more positive inner conversation. Making a habit of listening to your inner thoughts will set the stage for practicing replacement. Challenge the negative. Replace it with the positive. It will soon be a habit.
But remember: being human means sometimes being a victim of negative self-talk. Don't worry about failure. Simply be aware that the opportunity to improve is limitless. Be aware that the possibility of success is never far away.
Self-Talk Techniques Will Empower You
With practice, self-help techniques to improve self-talk habits will soon become second nature. A very helpful article “Self-Talk and Stress” on LifeMatters.com emphasizes the power of awareness. Awareness of negative self-talk is one of the first steps toward maintaining a more positive inner attitude.
Keep in mind that the power to improve and achieve success is always within reach. Dr. Braiker’s article, "The Power of Self-Talk" on the UCLA website provides very helpful advice. Empowering yourself is often as easy as simply doing some reading.
Sources:
- Braiker, Harriet B. "The Power of Self-Talk." Retrieved from College.UCLA.edu.
- LifeMatters. "Self-Talk and Stress". Retrieved from Lifematters.com.
 |
